Malaysia 27th December - Finally a real tourist.

Today marked the first true tourist trip of our Malaysian stay to the historic UNESCO World Heritage site of Malacca (Melaka for the Malaysian speakers and Malaysia’s 3rd smallest state of 13). The once initially frowned upon Hyundai in the Ariffin fleet of cars was to be our trusty steed for the day.


Having been escorted to the highway by Mr and Mrs A it was a straight 1hour 30 min drive down the pleasant 3 lane E2 highway. Were it not for the disturbingly erratic driving which was referred to later in the week by a taxi driver as the “Malay Way” and the buffering of huge palm trees on either side, mostly palm oil plantations , you could have been on the M62 on your way to Hull!


On arrival at the port town and having miraculously happened upon a free parking spot in a place where there must have been at least 20 cars per available space, we made our way through the main sites. Having being conquered by the Portuguese colonial fleet captained by Afonso de Albuquerque in 1511 and later taken by the Dutch in 1611, the majority of the architecture in the town centre has a European feel to it, with the main influence being Dutch and therefore terraced buildings that feel they should belong by the side of a Canal in Amsterdam. We quickly ticked off the main tourist sites including A Famosa, two Dutch churches, Jonkers Walk and some newly excavated remanence of the original colonial 16th century town walls which lie directly next to a mock up recreated fortification complete with plastic cannons to show what it “would have been like”, before retreating to the local Mall for some necessary air-con to off set the midday sun. Our intent was then to continue the tourist trek post our cool down and refreshment period but were beaten in to submission by the hoards, and herein lies the problem with Malacca. I can understand why and how the town was presented with an illustrious UNESCO award on account of it being the first landing point for European colonial forces and for the bits of left over architecture, but this has unfortunately led to an unprecedented number of guests visiting. This obviously in turn means there are rafts of street traders selling their wares (including amongst others, a very fat Indian man charging 5 ringgit for the pleasure of you having your picture taken with his dog eared looking chameleon) as well as an army of brightly ordained rickshaws blaring out tunes from their on board speakers from Britney Spears to Happy Hardcore To give some first hand perspective on this, Alicia and I decided we would try and see at least some of the “real Malacca” and headed of in the trusty Hyundai to find a still surviving Portuguese settlement where they speak an ancient form of the now modern Portuguese language. The die hard romantic in me had visions of us sitting by the port in a traditional local restaurant with only the din of the dinners behind us and the birds by the sea front to our side and eating all manner of immediately sourced fish followed by traditional custard tarts, all washed down with a Super Bock (Portuguese Beer). The journey was 1km; ordinarily it would take you no longer than 5 mins. Following 25 mins shuffling between 5 lanes of traffic trying to fit in to the two lane road we admitted defeat and took the first turning with a sign to KL.


We both discussed our day trip( during our 5 hour journey home) and mutually concluded that were town just a tad less busy giving us more time to take in our surroundings our enjoyment levels would have been considerably higher and we would have happily recommended the destination as a day trip for any Malaysian visitors. What should also be noted is that we did go on a Sunday which is a day popular with tourists indigenous to Malaysia and it also landed between Christmas and New Year when most people are still off work so there may have been an unusually high number of people visiting….


Upon arriving home it was a 25 min turn around before being picked up for dinner at Full House in central KL with Azlan (Alicia’s older brother) his wife Sophie and the rest of Azlan’s go-karting team. Our fellow dinners were inclusive of Alicia and I, very chatty and generally a very fun bunch. The menu was simple and on paper looked enticing but unfortunately food was below par for my experience of dining elsewhere in Malaysia, the service average at best and both these points suggested that the restaurant was is unable to cater for large parties which was in our case roughly 30 people. I also found the restaurant come coffee shop come clothes shop come home décor set up slightly weird especially given the building was completely open plan and door less (apart from the toilets) with the clothes shop upstairs. Maybe I was missing something but the thought of a grilled salmon scented trilby, or a roasted chicken chop flavoured skirt really wasn’t that appealing to me…….


My helpful hint of the day is for international drivers taking on Malaysian highways. If you have ever suffered road rage, try and avoid highways at busy times. The reason being that at busy times and when the traffic invariably starts backing up and bottle necking on the legally allocated three lanes, a good 5% of drivers will “forget” what the hard shoulder was invented for and take it upon themselves to create a fourth lane, which I am told is highly illegal and would come at the price of 300RM for anyone caught, yet tolerated by other drivers!! It is somewhat infuriating to be sat at a stand still for 4hrs whilst cars whiz up the left hand side of you merrily on the way to their destinations!!